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These were the days... in 1998 where I used to spend time on NewsGroups. I have no idea about the author but I like the text and pass it on to you.

Subject: Girlfriend 4.0 tech support

Date: Fri, 13 Mar 1998 03:53:42 -0800

From: MaGoo <not@thisaddress.com>

Organization: Son of Spam

Newsgroups: alt.penpals.forty-plus-yrs

Girlfriend 4.0  - Technical Support

Can you please advise me? I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend,

and I've been having some problems lately.

I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 all along as my primary application,

but the GirlFriend releases have always conflicted with it.

I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run GirlFriend in

background mode with the sound turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say

I can't find the switch to turn the sound off.

After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who

has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't

have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and that eventually it would

require a Token ring to run properly. He was right---as soon as I

purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were

supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it it gave me a virus.

I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for awhile.

I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI

probe first and also installed a virus protection program.  It worked

okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in

my system!

So I tried to run GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still

installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature which I didn't know about

that automatically senses the presence of any other version of

GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the

immediate removal of both versions!

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to

GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version.

He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you

don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, he had

to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a "huge resource hog".

It has taken up all of his space, so he can't load anything else. One

of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came

bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0.

Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0

sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new

Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on

a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.

Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0,

which has an automatic pop-up feature that he can't turn off.

I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard

if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0

will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.  Then

Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway due to insufficient resources.

Can you advise?